• neil

Day 15 (1 April - the day they told St. Benjamin it had all been a joke)

I’ve been walking the talk with the "to do" lists.

Today began with cleaning. The Meister Plan predicates splitting individual cleaning activities over a six day cycle with the seventh day off for festive darning. But today I went wild. I cleaned the windows and changed the bedsheets.

Unfortunately the bedsheets weren’t ironed and the windows finished up a tad streaky which set me off on a spiral of thought.

What I’m doing is pretty simple and straight forward; within a few weeks the windows will gleam and I will be the Prince of the Steam Iron. But some things are always going to be beyond me. The list of things which I rely on but do not master is endless.

I am incapable of making a Béchamel sauce, knitting a jumper, spinning the wool for said jumper or shearing my own sheep.

I can’t sew anything, weave anything or carve my own spoon.

Skills which were considered banal within living memory are beyond my ken; Pickling, bottling, smoking meats and fish, drying fruits or butchering my own meat take me right out of my comfort zone.

Don’t get me started on tracking, trapping, hunting and gathering, building a shelter, casting metals, blacksmithing a knife or a fish hook and identifying medicinal herbs

But I am not disheartened. Far from it!

You ask Ragnor the Viking to change the batteries on the TV remote and see how far he gets.

Serious and Reliable Information Sources Only

Intelligent and educated as you are, there is no need for me to bang on about the importance of verifying the credibility and rigour of your information sources during these, or any other times.

I, of course, rely totally on the “Daily Star” which always gets to the heart of an issue and which recently broke the news that an Iranian cleric has advocated injecting violet leaf oil into one's rectum to avoid the virus thingy.

I’m sure that they will soon have the low-down on the link between viruses and the roll-out of 5G and I will keep you in the loop. Don't let on, but it involves a conspiracy.

Yet another plus Remember all the times you have been frustrated because the delivery you stayed home for arrived just when went out for twenty minutes?

That doesn’t happen as often now does it?

I’m waiting for my order of (non-edible damn it) flowers to be delivered today. On the plus side the ensuing planting will tick the exercise box on today’s list.

And there will be violet leaves in there.

Oh happy bottom!

On the negative side I don’t know anything about planting. I’ll probably mess it up and put everything in the wrong place. I wish I hadn’t gloated about the TV remote with Ragnor.


My thanks for the comment on yesterday's blog:

“Fun to read and lightweight”

I would have preferred “lighthearted”. But I’ll take what is offered.

Take good care and be of good cheer!



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