• neil

Day 40 (26 April): Hockney and hooky

I was intrigued to learn that David Hockney has produced a series of gorgeous iPad paintings during his confinement which he calls Spring. In a BBC interview he said

"We have lost touch with nature rather foolishly as we are a part of it, not outside it. This will in time be over and then what? What have we learned? I am 83 years old, I will die. The cause of death is birth. The only real things in life are food and love in that order….. I really believe this and the source of art is love…I love life."

David went on to say:

“I like working on the iPad, but it’s a bugger scraping the paint off the screen. Worse than washing the blender.”

He didn’t, of course, but he could have.

Which brings me to other things which didn’t happen and which aren’t happening ….but what if?

What if all the loony-tunes-carpet-chewing conspiracy bunnies were right. Instead of Bill and Melinda Gates being remarkable human beings dedicating their lives to alleviate sickness they were plotting to inject us with monitoring chips through an anti-virus vaccination programme?

Bill: Neil’s moving.

Melinda: Again? That’s twice this week!

Bill: Yes. He’s in his car on the way….to ….the supermarket.

Melinda: I’m cross-referencing the data…….yes, there’s a two for one offer on Trappist beers. Shall I scramble the drones?

Bill: No! We can monitor the situation to see who he drinks with. I suspect he’s plotting with the Muskovites to blot out the night sky with satellites.

Melinda: No! That must be stopped. Elon’s satellites represent a threat to our 5G mast programme for the eradication of white rhinos.

Bill: You phone our minions in the World Bank and the UN. I’ll slip some more genetically modified bats into the food chain!

I exaggerate the claims. But hardly. Those of us using social media, which I suppose means the majority of us, will have noticed a sharp increase in the number of items relaying conspiracy rot. I hope it is only the stresses, strains and boredom of confinement which are driving otherwise kind and intelligent people to transmit such hate-fuelled conspiracy drivel.

Rant over.

It's Sunday afternoon, it's beautifully sunny here in Belgium and I have not a gram of inspiration. So I'm playing hooky. I'm going to open a chilled beer, put my feet up and read a good book.

Cheers everybody!



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