• neil

Day 77 (2 June): The time and the inclination

I owe a debt of gratitude to the language learning app Duolongo. Indeed I am contemplating cutting them in for a percentage of my earnings from this blog. Ten percent will cost me nothing.

They had me giggling again today as I encountered the phrase ‘De klok doet niet’ which translates literally as ‘The clock is not doing’.

And I thought - how do they know? For some time now I have found that the clock on my kitchen wall just doesn’t do it for me anymore.

She’s just as smooth and round and comely as she ever was but I seem to have grown away from her. I remember when that little electric wall clock used to send shivers down my spine.

And it is proving to be an insidious process. I have found myself stuck at traffic lights long after they have turned green, lost in fantasies about acquiring digital clocks, analog clocks and, I blush to admit it, cuckoo clocks. I was never moved by clocks with pendulums but to each his own I say. We all seem to have our proclivities when it comes to time pieces.

I decided that perhaps I should seek help when I found myself googling Big Ben. I have since been reassured that this obsession is harmless.

For the last several months Big Ben doet niet.

I will have to suppress these inclinations - I looked up ‘inclination’ on my phone and up popped something called '' which tells me that an inclination 'is something you are leaning toward….you could have a specific inclination for chocolate'. Until today I always stood up straight to eat my chocolate but from now on I’ll stand under my first love, the clock on the kitchen wall, and in lean in towards the goodies cabinet.

I injured both shoulders months ago, some form of chronic tendinitis, not by leaning at a ridiculous angle to snaffle chocolate, but working out in the gym. So to be doing something less intense than weights, I’m hoping to start swimming. Apparently the chlorine in pool water makes the risk of COVID transmission pretty close to zero whilst in the pool itself. Unfortunately communal changing rooms and showers are considered to be areas of high potential transmission risk. You already know that I have a plan don’t you?

As soon as they open I’m going to drive to the gym in just my trunks, go straight to the pool, swim and drive back home in my wet Speedos.

This has two benefits. Firstly I get to swim while minimising the risk of infection and secondly, when I’m stuck at traffic lights fantasising about the clock with the most attractive hands, angry fellow motorists will give me a wide berth. You have to think these things through.

My unsolved problem was where to put my watch while swimming, so I consulted my fitness coach. I don't think I'll follow through on her answer as it would seriously impede my breaststroke leg movement. Although it would give a very personal meaning to the passage of time.

Toodle pip my dear ones!



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